Malaysian Politics (Part 1)

This is just a bit SATIRE, whether it's a good read or not is down to your opinion. But like every piece of satire, there is an element of truth in said piece of writing/work. Actually, is this satire?!

So yeah, as a Malaysian you would already be familiar with, or at least have some idea of the political arena in Malaysia. Whatever your political views may be, here are a few obvious things we can all agree on:Malaysian politics is very tribal, to say the least. Every political party has it's own faction of the three main races (Malays, Chinese and Indians). Undeniably there are racial connotations, which I'll prattle on about elaborate later.

Malaysian politics can be quite "entertaining" at times, in the sense that it is more of a soap opera that creates newspaper headlines which look like they could've popped out from MAD magazine or even "Gila-Gila". Scandals are more of an issue than the country's/people's economical/lifestyle concerns, and perhaps it is these political scandals that give Malaysian politics the reason to even exist in the first place, because let's face it, real-life and proper politics is just damn boring. Education system what?! What about the healthcare in that rural area?! Whatever, guess which motherfucker in Parliament ogled at some Lady-Boy's hooters. WTF?! And when people (and "ghosts") go to the polling booths, their decision to vote for which politician/party will depend on who had the best toupee that day, like Monk Vellu, or whether that guy really did have fun fun fun fun on a Friday night with some tantalising Lady-Boys, where the next morning they all woke up on the wrong end of a cocaine high.

In addition to that, in Malaysia, politicians are viewed as celebrities, whether anyone is willing to admit that or not, that is the sad truth. Take another country for example, which isn't Malaysia... Say, any friggin' country. A gossip magazine will have some life-inspiring headline such as "Kerry Katona gives birth to another billion monstrosities, enough to devour the whole of Iceland, the country, not the supermarket". In Malaysia, the equivalent to Kerry Katona, Heather Mills and Olivia Munn wrapped into one, is none other than the "First Lady of Malaysia", which apparently is that Rosmah woman, the current Prime Minister's wife. You cannot argue that she has this obsession to become Malaysia's Next Top (and ONLY) Model. While politics, in the eyes of some, is taken very seriously as the activities that are associated with the governance of a country and it's people, to Rosmah it's just a popularity contest, really, a pedestal for her in hopes that she can someday appear on the front cover of Vogue magazine. The self-proclaimed First Lady would very much like to be more popular than Lady Gaga, which, let's face it, won't be the case... Ever. Showbiz in Malaysia is alright (in terms of people making a career and living off it), but nobody really gives a flying poo about which actor/actress made out at Dunkin Donuts or where-ever, but in other news, I saw that guy in PAS UMNO snogging this very vivacious woman in front of 7-11, which, instead of a few column inches, will fill up the entire newspaper/magazine, because that's what Malaysians want to read. They don't care if Mawi wants to endorse noodles on T.V.

I don't know why I am writing this. Actually, I do. It's because, as usual, I am bored shitless. And now I'm bored writing this shit. Did I say I was going to elaborate on Malaysian Politics being "very tribal"? Whatever, I'm too bored to do that too. There's a reason why I didn't really tag anyone in this Note in the first place, because I never had the intention of writing this for anyone to actually read it. I just wanted to waste 2 hours of my life which didn't involve libido-inducing material.

Having said that, if you're familiar with Malaysian politics, you have to agree with what I just wrote... Kinda... Heheheheh... Right?